What happens when you forget?

When that part of your life goes to sleep and leaves you wandering within your inner walls, your darkness becomes both your past and your future. It give hurtful new meaning to a word we all to readily joke of as being *lost*.
For now and forever I will be changed from the knowledge of this unimaginable sadness. My silent prayer, dear one is that this will somehow help me to understand true compassion. It changes what is and what is never going to be. But you still live and breathe inside this walking structure that was once a child growing to become a woman, a body that would become a mothers womb and a body of passion that would become a woman of hope.

To be left to wander on this earth with no identity, no recognition of your purpose, who you are, what you were and who you still want to be is death without dying. Those who love you are left in sadness, in grief of the death of a living soul. I wonder if you even feel the hurt or does the aura of sadness penetrate your spirit.

I don't know you but I know of your story and I am so saddened. Perhaps you are the shadow that brings forth the fear. As I watch this storm from a distance, I observe how this living death of your spirit will daily affect those around you who are left to honor their commitment of love forevermore. How deep does that promise need to go? It is unthinkable to toss you out like last weeks garbage just because you are now in the way of someone else's happiness, yet what is it that those who are left grasping onto some form of hope supposed to do? This screams with pain.

I would guess that it must feel like someone who is drowning in invisible quicksand and even though there are those strong hands held out to hold onto you, your eyes cannot see through the darkness. And what if that one who gave his promise to you so many years ago to stay by your side and not leave you when you are helpless.... is left on this journey all alone, then God sends an angel to bring the both of you a breathe of life?What would he do?What should he do?
Should one go on without you, is that possible? To leave you spiritually may be the only thing that saves his life.To consider the soul that is still alive inside,yet left to hold on to....what?honor? Who still feels the need to be touched, the need to share that warmth and tenderness that his heart still desires. Even though unthinkable, we have to ask ourselves from a place buried deep inside, "Dear lost one, What would you have us do?" If only you could do scream and cry and kick and beg 'WHY'?
You would not hear the answer, you could not.
As you surely walked your path with those that took for granted that you would either be or not be and those were the choices? Yet you are here, living and breathing in the space of life that does not welcome you anymore. What will you do? What should *they* do? From this space of observance I am humbly left with non-judgment and offer my support for another human being, for this by the grace of God, go I.

It's early but it's here, so what about now?

So now is the time for acceptance here in my little place of happy homeland. My play space, my little neck of the woods. Pretty pine trees, huh?
So, you see....this is what makes it worth staying in Michigan in the coldest months of doom and gloom! ( well, that only happens after the holidays) This kind of beauty where every branch of every tree is dusted with this powder and just glistens in the sunlight!
So what are we all to think of these *changes*... I just love giving that word its due dig) here it is the 18th day of November and already the stores are full of Holiday cheer. Why Lord? Isn't it enough that we're blasted with fear about our pending doom on the economic force? That we fear that our jobs will be removed like blink from Jeannie's eyes? That the food pantry will run dry and we'll be forced to really, really eat beans and cornbread every day and have no choice? But I digress....
Part of me wants to run from it all claiming that they are robbing us of the tradition long mindset that Christmas must only begin after Thanksgiving......and to give that even more joy they now refer to it as Black Friday!
That other part wants the lights up now...to begin the baking and merrying. The window shopping, the anxiety over not being able to buy anyone anything but a box of rocks. Opps...there I go again!

Recipe for P.O.M.

What else is it that we can do to ascend our own levels of consciousness and somehow feel a greater sense of love, the absence of fear, and more acceptance of so many people with whom we seem to have nothing in common, little understanding, a different set of values, and with whom we perceive ourselves to operate from a completely different belief system about the world?

How do we come to a sense of peace and diminish our reflexive stress--the same stress that causes acidic reactions in our body--to the many seemingly unacceptable political, economic, unhappy human elements that surround us?
I believe that science will soon confirm what some have known over the millennia. Virtually all Holy Scripture from all the major religions are in accordance with the idea that the highest devotion to God--man's greatest gift to the energy field of the world in which we are all encompassed--is service to mankind. Research into higher consciousness tells us that the energy of loving service is recorded in the universe on into infinity.

Thus, as Thanksgiving and Christmas approaches in the problematic year of 2008, one of the greatest stress-releasing gifts we can give to ourselves is to give the gift of service to others.

For J.F.

In this small amount of collective space on earth, I have learned that no human being can act beyond their own level of consciousness. This I know for sure. Could you have understood that" Your own mother acted according to the way in which her mind had become conditioned by her past? The things she did and the things she failed to do were an expression of her limitations as a human being. She was throughout her whole life in the condition of not being spiritually awakened, and so she was unable to go beyond her limitations. When you recognize this, compassion arises and it becomes possible to forgive ("Forgive them for they know not what they do," to use the words of Jesus on the cross). It also becomes possible now to recognize your grievances as stories that you have been telling yourself in your own mind for many years. The stories are based on the illusion that your mother was conscious when in fact she was not. The emotional pain that you have been experiencing throughout your adult life concerning your childhood was in fact not created by what happened in your childhood, but by the thoughts that your mind produced about it. I believe it is possible for you now to step beyond all those stories, access the power of the present moment and accept the form that this moment takes without judgment and criticism. Step high and move through this pain body and begin to be open to see your own light..and know this for all the time your soul cries, you are so loved.

What I *do* love about Winter

What is it about the cold and dreariness of the Midwest that keep me here? Family bonds that tie us to stay close to home? It's always at this time of year that many of us find ourselves slipping into hibernation. A time of reflection, bonding, exploring. It's when life slows down that we deepen our bonds and ties to those people and places that keep us whole. I have to wonder if this is the definition of the word *Comfort*. To comfort>> Warm blankets, fires, cozy sweaters, fuzzy socks, Sunday football and a huge pot of Chili simmering on the stove. And lets not forget coffee. The aroma of a fresh brewed pot wafting through the house just soothes my weary soul. Of course a Black Walnut Roast from my favorite roaster would bring that smile to my face as if the World honors me and my place. My home. A gathering of loved ones, sharing the bonds that tie, crazy laughter, never enough Seinfeld jokes which resonate inside of my son's personalities somehow..I didn't do it I swear. I wish you all a blustery, snowy winter. Go light the fireplace, grab a blanket and someone to snuggle. Live,love and laugh. I know I will. There will be many a weekend that we will *hole* up in the house for the entire weekend. The stresses of the outside world hidden outside of these walls. I won't let them in.The pantry and fridge will be stocked and we won't see anyone until Monday brings us back to reality. Try this......let go of what *should* be and be childlike. Move the furniture, drag the bed matterss into the TV room and just stay there. Eat there in your PJ's or 'whatever you choose', watch movies all day, nap, snuggle, play video games, nap again,eat some more, laugh and just play. Tune out the world for the entire weekend. Be with those you truly love. Just be.

I'm still practicing life and I'm trying to do it with grace!

In life we have two major identity crises. The first, occurring in adolescence, is to establish an identity. You must get a sense of who you are. The second identity crisis is at midlife when you must give up who you think you are so you can become who you were meant to be. This transition isn't easy and is greatly resisted. Midlife is ultimately about the search for true meaning in life. Whenever we ask about *meaning* we have asked a spiritual question. Midlife is an opportunity for an awakening into a deeper spirituality.

A Healthy dose of Life on the Other Side

This was a weekend to remember. As I've been locked up here today doing my usual blogging and tweets, conducting and concocting...all things creative today....I've had the chance to look back into some late summer photos. We had the privilege to be invited by my dearest daughter and *the man*, to stay with them at the House on the Lake, as we'll refer to it. Invited family members for some sun and fun for the day. We boated..thanks to bro and sis-n-law, bar-b-qued and swam all afternoon. I even got pulled along behind the boat on a floatie (what was that thingie called?) anyway...my apologies to Wendy for the momentary insanity and cursing in her ear as I panicked and held on for dear life. All in all, I was scared $#@)less...but I survived. Thanks Sam! Enjoy some beauty by the beach!

And ta-da....this is a shot from the inside of the hotel at French Lick. Doesn't this look like something from Europe? We'll guys, its Indiana and you'll just have to check it out for yourself.

Who knew this could be Indiana?

I'm tellin ya, as I live and breathe I will still be in shock over what we stumbled upon last weekend on our roaming trip back from Dayton. We decided to let the roads be our guide, the colors point our direction and the hills keep us from falling off the sides. Wandering through the upper parts of Kentucky and back into Indiana to make our journey toward the goal of finding out what the deal is about Madison, IN. Like two kids ooing and ahing through the windows at the beauty of Southern Indiana we rolled into Madison only to be wonderfully surprised. Had a great lunch at a hip deli/cafe and did the main street shops. Off again, no photos only visual memories though. Winding back up towards Indy we happened into French Lick. A place speaking to my jumbled memories of past Midwest Living Mag's torn pages of places I'd like to visit some day. Did that make sense? My kids always ragged on me about my nasty little *habit*. Yes, I'm one of those people who sometimes, quietly and ashamedly rips out pages of magazines as I wait in the Dr.'s office, only to add to my piles of people, places and things to visit one day, my Bucket List......So what?, I digress....
Wow, there it was..a very welcoming cutsey town with flower beds and a HUGE Casino/Hotel before us as we rolled into French Lick. I knew that it wasn't the Casino I had read about so many years ago in that page that I had saved. Check out what we found just down the road...gotta tell ya....WOW! This is what I had read about so many years ago. If you haven't been there, you've got to at least see their website....and by the way....wear a bib to catch the drool!!! www.frenchlick.com

So this is she, queen of the house, ruler of the roost and love of my life. Who'd a thought? For most of my adult life I've been a Black Lab girl. The family dog and there have been several whom we've loved, no make that adored/spoiled and grew up with the kids just like another child at the table. (well not literally at the table). But this girl, this little Cinnabun came to us out of the blue and well....from the back of the couch she watches life pass by.
I never saw myself as a Chihuahua kind of person, I thought they were yappy, bitey (?) and snippy little annoying things. But here she is, my queen, my Cinny. I used to be the person who thought this was a bit unusual, a thinker of *those kinds of people* that were a little bit *off* shall we say? Good grief, yup...here I am....the dog lady, crooning over those cute little outfits at the local Pet Smart!There has to be someone out there who can relate, huh?